Jacobin Textline: 830-JACOBIN  //  Text anytime and we'll respond during a show!

John Bolton Invades Crab Nebula

Instruments in Tibet were impacted by a 500 TeV photon originating in the Crab Nebula, the most energetic photon ever recorded (The LHC in Geneva generates about 14 TeV).

National Security Advisor John Bolton has asked the Joint Chiefs to plan a retaliatory strike against the Crab Nebula as a warning sign to Iran. "And it had better not take 10,000 years!" he was overheard saying.

Apparently, it's Lampoon John Bolton Day.