Fun Fact: Hamsters cannot get drunk.

Less Fun Fact: They only drive Kia Souls.

Andrew Cuomo will not be charged subsequent to the investigation of 16,000 nursing home deaths in New York because ‘no laws were broken’.

You can make bad decisions that kill thousands of people and lie about it, just don't break any laws.

Choose Your Headline:

Elizabeth Holmes Convicted on Four of Twelve Counts

Elizabeth Holmes Guilty of 144 Million Dollar Fraud
________
Spoiler: Both are factually accurate

My new eyeglasses have anti-glare coating.

Now people don't know when I'm annoyed with them.

Joe Biden announced yesterday that he will improve the federal government by – wait for it – expanding the government.

Now why hasn't someone thought of that before?

Tobacco giant Philip Morris is in a bidding war to acquire a pharmaceutical company that makes treatments for respiratory diseases.

Tell me again how wonderful capitalism is.

(Arguments conflating free market economics and capitalism will not be entertained)